When trying to make a change in life the first step is to consider why you don’t already have what it is that you desire. Therefore if you are trying to obtain more happiness in your life it makes very good sense to consider why you aren't happy right now. After all, it's much easier to cure a problem when you have an understanding of some of its causes and symptoms.
This is exactly the same as going to a doctor when you are not feeling well. The overall aim is to feel better. However a doctor can not prescribe a magic pill which will work for all patients. Therefore to tackle the illness he must first find the root cause of the problem, this is called diagnosis.
Now it’s possible you may have some unique issue that's wrecking your sense of well being. In that case, some serious self-reflection is in order. Awareness is the first step in the process of change. Also depending on the issue you are facing it may be beneficial to seek professional help to address the problem within your life so that you can start the healing process with the right support systems in place. Ignoring problems such as grief, heartbreak or depression can lead to more serious mental health issues which can spiral out of control. Do not be scared or embarrassed to talk to people about your problems or feelings as this is the best way to work through and overcome them, and to start improving your well being and your happiness.
However, my guess is you will be much more likely to find the root of your unhappiness in the list that follows. These are the things that drag the vast majority of us down, so take a minute to know your enemy and diagnose your unhappiness!
Are you a Worrier?
The world can be roughly split between worriers and warriors. Those who over-worry are, of course, much unhappier. Now being a "warrior", in this sense, has nothing to do with things like violence or the military. It's all about having the courage to face what life has to offer. How much time a day and night do you spend worrying? Don't you think there's much more constructive ways to spend your time? Of course there is. If you are worrying about something then you should take action to address the situation. If you are not going to take action to change the situation then you should stop worrying about it. And you should also stop worrying if you have no power to change a specific situation as this is a form of self harm and you are more than likely allowing your mind to assume that the worst possible outcomes will arise. Just try to remember that nearly all of our worries never become reality.
Are you are a Grudge Holder?
There's times in life when people do things to us that are downright nasty. It's a fact which we can't escape. What we can escape however is how we react to these situations. By holding a grudge we release a sort of slow poison in our own system that's guaranteed to slowly kill our happiness. Not only does this NOT affect the person who did us wrong, but it actually damages us on top of whatever wrong we initially experienced (real or imagined). Forgiving and forgetting has been universal spiritual advice for a good reason. It keeps us happy! Forgiving allows us to move on with our lives and leave negative situations and emotions in the past. This also works for yourself! Forgive yourself for all the little things that you kick yourself for doing in the past. Holding a grudge with yourself is the ultimate happiness killer.
Do you Play the Comparison Game?
Happiness is not about what you "have" compared to others, despite what the overwhelmingly materialistic bias of our culture may tell you. If your friend has the latest television, you buying the same television the next day won't ever make you truly happy. Happiness is based on internal factors more often than not, and when you play the comparison game I can guarantee you will never come out a winner. There will always be someone with something that you perceive to be better than what you have. Instead of comparing yourself to others simply compare yourself against your past self. This way you can see your progress and accomplishments which will motivate you to take more action and progress even faster. Where have you made progress in your life so far? Where do you want to progress to in the future?
Do you Isolate Yourself?
Loneliness is a terrible feeling. Things seem much worse and problems much more daunting when you consider and face them alone. If you have the tendency to isolate yourself this could be a huge part of why you feel unhappy. Humans are social creatures. We need to be around others who we care about and who care about us to be happy. It is proven that being around other people will naturally pick you up and help you to be more positive and happy. Just try to ensure you are spending time with the right people! It gives you a chance to speak about your issues and feelings and also to help other people with theirs. Helping others is always rewarding and makes us feel more useful and appreciated. And if you are really not a people person then spending time around animals can be a good substitute. After all pets, especially dogs are known as people’s best friend for a reason!
Do you Surround Yourself with Negative People?
Negative people spread unhappiness like a virus. If you look at your inner circle and it has more than its share of those who never have a good word to say, it's time to make a big change. Not only is their outlook hurting their own chance of happiness, it's hurting yours too! And do not try to help a negative person by trying to change them. Not unless they want to change. Remember people will not change unless they want to. If you know you are a negative person this is something you may want to think about for yourself. Do you really want to change? Because if you don’t, you won’t!
Are you Unhealthy?
Poor diet, a lack of exercise and a poor sleeping pattern creates the perfect environment for unhappiness to take root. Your body is your temple and when it's treated like a dumping ground it's not a shock that happiness will escape you. Have you ever noticed that fit and healthy people tend to be much more pleasant to be around? Another thing to remember is that our bodies are like machines and require energy to perform. However unlike machines our bodies will produce the amount of energy we require to undertake our daily routines. This is why people who are very active have a lot of energy and inactive people are always tired. It is because our bodies will not provide us with energy all day if we are not in the habit of using it.
Now this list isn't exhaustive, but it should be enough to give you an idea which area (or areas) may be causing you the most difficulty. Understanding the problem is our first step to overcoming it. So don't worry, happiness is right around the corner!
Depending on how you have diagnosed your cause for your unhappiness there will be a solution to help you achieve the happiness you desire in your life. Please take the time to look through the rest of the content on this site to help you find techniques and exercises which can help you in your journey to achieve greater happiness.
Alternatively you can get in touch with me and see how I can help you personally and get you results fast like I have done with all my other clients.
I wish you all the happiness you can possibly get! Take care of yourself!
